Blurbs

I like words. Words are our friends. I remember reading, or at least, leafing through a dictionary when I was very young (and bored), and it seems like every time I looked through one, I’d find a word that sounded interesting. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that “word” rhymes with “nerd”, but that’s beside the point. What I want to say in this installment is that as much as I like words, I don’t have very many of them lately, for reasons that are best left unsaid. And so, loyal readers, today’s entry is not an essay, but a collection of blurbs. And just so you know, the word “blurb” can be used as a transitive verb, although I have yet to see an example of that in a sentence.

Dictionary: I remember finding the word “fart” in a dictionary. I don’t remember if it was Webster’s or Funk & Wagnall’s, but the definition read: “an odiferous zephyr.” I thought that was just about the funniest thing I’d ever seen. I still think it’s funny.

God & Physics: Frank Tipler says he has definitive scientific proof that God exists. In a series of equations that I can’t begin to fathom, he “proves” an almighty algorithm. This seems like a big waste of time and effort to me, because I don’t believe that the creature can understand the mind of the creator. And if I were you, I would beware the person who says they do.

Functionally Drunk: I found a website (here) that unabashedly caters to people of my ilk. There’s too much funny stuff there to list here, so I’ll just quote something I saw there that made me laugh out loud. “You know you’re drunk when you step on your own fingers.” Why is that funny? Because I’ve done it.

Just Good TV: I don’t watch much TV; I only get about 17 channels, and among those, 2 are Jesus channels, 2 are Spanish channels, and one is C-Span. But, now and then because I’m a nerd, I find myself watching America’s Funniest Videos. No matter how dorky you think it is, it’s the best reality show on TV. It’s not from AFV, but have a look at this clip and tell me it’s dumb.

Soothsayer: Check the archives of this blog for “Political Rant Vol. II,” and notice that I correctly predicted that Mitt Romney’s faith would be an issue, and then refer to the “God and Physics” blurb above. Al Sharpton knows God, and so does Ted Haggard and even Osama Bin Laden. That should give you pause.

My Team: My hockey team petered out tonight. I don’t pretend to be a sports writer, but if the Detroit Red Wings had played the first two periods of tonight’s game like they did the third, I would be a much happier person. Maybe next year.

Youthful Exuberance: I visited the Museum of Science & Industry in Chicago when I was much younger, and I still remember all of the cool stuff I saw. Of all the wonders there, the one that sticks with me the most was a slice of an entire human body about a quarter inch thick pressed between two pieces of Plexiglas. I know a little girl who visited there this month, and I hope she finds it as fascinating as I did.

I think I’m finished for tonight, and I’ve come up with my own sentence using “blurb” as a transitive verb. I blurbed you.