Holiday Blurbs

As much as I grouse about Christmas, I secretly get a little bit giddy when this time of year rolls around. Rude, crazed shoppers and endless sales telling us to “buy, buy, buy” always put a big damper on my holiday feelings, but I know that on Christmas morning there will be squeals of delight from wide-eyed children sitting in seas of wrapping paper admiring something they don’t know how they ever survived without. The children who have no Christmas temper my warm fuzziness, and I do what I can to help (but don’t tell anyone). Please enjoy my Christmas blurbs. I have nothing but time this weekend, so don’t be surprised if I post again here very soon. I’ll be spending the holidays alone, by the way, so if you’re in the Tampa area (all you females) and don’t have anything to do for Christmas, find me. I could use some Christmas company.

Christmas Wars

That nativity scenes have come under fire in the past for promoting Christianity is nothing new. It has been a cultural icon for Christians around the world for centuries, and you would think that people would be used to it by now, but in these days of people behaving like soft-shelled turtles, we are evidently too worried about other people’s feelings to the point where we begin to curtail our own. (If you’ve been here before, you know my feelings about religion, especially Christianity, and I don’t want anyone to think I’ve “seen the light”, but I’m going to stick up for them this one time.) The word “Christmas” has been around for an awfully long time. Every person in America knows what a Christmas tree is. Now, however, it seems that there is a growing movement to phase out the term “Christmas tree”, and replace it with “holiday tree”, so as not to offend non-Christians. I gotta tell you, I can’t remember the last time I heard something so utterly ridiculous. It is akin to saying that we’re not going to call movies “movies” anymore, because Hindus protest that the “moo” sound in the word makes them think of all the poor cows raised to be eaten, denied the glory of reincarnation. We will discard the term “movies” and call them “fleegles” and nothing else. Now that’s ridiculous, isn’t it? If they want to call it a Christmas tree, I say let ‘em! It’s been “Christmas Tree” for centuries, and it’s only now becoming offensive? If I hear someone say “Christmas tree”, I know exactly what they mean. You would think, though, that when some people hear the word, what they really hear is “Jesus Christ is your lord and savior and you must repent and follow only Him because your religion is dumb you godless bastard.” And that kind of thinking only bolsters the Christians, because they somehow figure that if you don’t like the word, you must be feeling guilty because you know deep down in your heart that you’re a sinner. See what I mean? I don’t get all upset and offended when I hear “Hanukkah” or “Ramadan” or even “Kwanzaa.” In fact, I really don’t think I could care any less what any group wants to call their holiday, unless they have a holiday phrase like “Happy Jeff’s An Idiot Day!” I’d have an issue with that one. The point is to just relax and let each group call their holiday and all of its trappings whatever they want to call it. The pissers and the moaners seem to forget that to make a word unpopular is to guarantee that it will never go away.

Beltway Holiday Bullshit

In keeping with the holiday theme, let’s look at a blatant attempt by Republican hopeful Mike Huckabee to lie to anyone who will listen while invoking the name of Christ. Huckabee has a Christmas message for you (available on any television) in which he specifically wishes everyone a Merry Christmas by reminding us that it is the birth of Christ that we celebrate. It’s a real “Jesus is the reason for the season, oh, and by the way, vote for me” plug. In it, he speaks to the camera as it slowly pans from left to right. In the background of the scene is a white bookcase whose shelves and supports form a distinct cross pattern that seems to float behind him. Pundits and analysts immediately pounced on what they thought was an attempt to sneak in a religious symbol. Why this is an issue when he’s talking about Christ is beyond me, but here’s the rub: Huckabee says he didn’t realize the bookcase formed a cross until after the ad began to air. Now, I don’t know about you, but I find that very difficult to believe. I may not be a Hollywood director, but I’d bet my bottom dollar that any number of editors and advisors not only noticed the cross, but oohed and aahhed at how good their presentation looked. They noticed it because it was supposed to be there. Huckabee insists with a chuckle that “it just happened that way”, but I’d sooner believe the Virgin Mary could miraculously appear on a grilled cheese sandwich. Oh…wait…never mind. Who does Huckabee think he’s fooling? Nothing happens in a professional commercial by accident, especially a political ad, and for Huckabee to shrug and say “Golly, it just happened” is a slap in the face to any thinking person (voter). Remember that when it comes time to choose, or suffer the consequences. On a side note, we won’t see that kind of thing out of Mitt Romney, but you know there are factions out there who will fault him for not mentioning Jesus. Even on his birthday, Christ is a double edged sword and it’s hard to tell which edge is keener.

Christmas Spirit

I met a person this year who does a truly thankless job each Christmas: She buys miniature Christmas trees with battery powered lights, and hand cuts literally hundreds of strips of red velvet from which she fashions tiny bows. She puts the bows on the trees (one on every branch), and on Christmas Eve, she takes the trees to various cemeteries where friends and family are buried, places them on the gravesites, and spends a moment remembering them. She also takes along a supply of all kinds of alcoholic beverages and has a shot of whatever that deceased person enjoyed drinking. This seemed to me, at first, to be an utterly pointless practice. Dead people don’t know you’re remembering them, and she does an awful lot of work for, well, nothing. The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that she doesn’t do it for the people she’s lost (although she would argue that point with me for eternity), but for herself, even if she doesn’t realize it. This may seem a bit like self-stroking, but you know what? If it makes her happy, who am I to begrudge that? With all the bloated hype over Christmas with its relentless commercialism, it’s nice to know that some people don’t use this time of year to buy trinkets for the living, but to reflect and remember those whom we have lost. My hat is off to you, LuRae, for your selfless Christmas spirit.