Christian religious scholars have poured over “scripture”
for over two millennia. Why, you might
ask, do I have quotation marks around the word “scripture”? I mean, doesn’t everybody know that the word
is used to describe the writings of both the old and new testaments, and
further, that for the faithful, they’re considered sacred, the word of God Himself,
in all his forms? Well, I have the quote
marks because to me, they’re not sacred.
Call me a blasphemer, but until they’ve been proven to be of divine
origin, they’re words, like any other set of words, and carry no more weight
than any other writing. In fact, a case
could easily be made to show that they are anything BUT sacred or divine, but
I’ll leave that argument for another time.
For the purposes of this essay, let’s assume they are in fact direct
quotes.
God speaks for the first time in Genesis. Since there were no people, there is no way
to know what He said, which makes the whole “Let there be light” thing
unbelievable, but remember, we’re pretending. So anyway, the Bible tells us what
God says in many places throughout the Old Testament, but in Exodus, He writes it down. No wait.
He carves it into stone. Twice. I find this very significant because now
we’re not working with hearsay, but text written “with the finger of God.”
You would think that, as the infallible word of God,
it wouldn’t matter which translation of the Bible you use, because they would
all be the same, but again, we’re pretending.
So let’s use the King James Version (from 1769, not the original 1611
version of the version…see a pattern here?)
Exodus 20:4-5 says:
“Thou shalt not make unto thee
any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that
is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor
serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of
the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that
hate me.”
If you’ve done any kind of bible study (and I don’t
mean reading it and hoping for a personal revelation) you know that many of the
stories related therein are allegorical in nature. For instance, the story of David and Goliath
is far more than a fable about a little boy killing a giant and becoming a
king, but in the case of the quote we’re dealing with, it seems pretty clear that
we are to take the words literally; there are no hidden meanings here. God is telling us what He wants us to
do. In writing. It is highly unlikely that He used medieval vernacular,
so let me try a translation:
“Do not make statues of me. Do not portray me as a bird, an animal or a
fish. Nothing. Do not hold idols as holy; I don’t like
it. If you do, I will punish your
children, grandchildren, great and great-great grandchildren.”
That seems pretty plain to me. St. John of Damascus, who was most definitely not divine,
argues that there are occasions where idols can be used, which has been very
helpful to the Catholics, but it seems to me that taking the word of a mortal
man, which stands as a stark and utter contradiction to what God himself
plainly said is beyond presumptuous. It
is as if he (St. John) is saying, “I know what God said, but what he really meant
was…”
As it has been since antiquity, that attitude is
still prevalent today. Almost
everywhere, there are examples of people who, under the guise of religion,
peddle as authentic and sanctioned things which are blatantly un-biblical. I picked this particular line of reasoning to
rail against the Solid Rock church in Monroe, OH, just north of Cincinnati.
Dubbed a “mega church”, they are a non-denominational
organization that until last year had a six-story high statue of Jesus that
looked for all the world like it was made of butter. It was actually made of fiberglass and foam;
it was the gaudiest thing I’ve ever seen.
I remember the first time I saw it.
It scared me.
I came around a curve on I-75, heading south from
Dayton to Cincy, when I saw two massive yellow arms stretching into the
sky. As I passed it, I saw that it was a
statue of Jesus from the chest up with his arms outstretched; there was a pool
in front of it and it looked like he was drowning and clutching for a life preserver. I know I’m not the only person to think it
was odd. I’ve since seen it described as
“butter Jesus”, “drowning Jesus”, “Subway five dollar foot long Jesus”, and the
most popular moniker, “touchdown Jesus”. Here it is:
In the Old Testament, Yahweh often meted out
terrible punishments to those who transgressed against him. Evidently, he still does that. On June 15th of last year, a
thunderstorm passed over the skyward- reaching Jesus, and a bolt of lightning
shot down from the sky striking the statue.
In what can only be described as a spectacular blaze, the entire thing
burned to the ground in short order, causing $700,000 worth of damage, and
killing all the fish that lived in the pond it protruded from. The next morning, all that remained was a
creepy, smoldering skeletal frame.
You just can’t come away from this incident
wondering if there was a supernatural hand at work. If ever there was an example of a commandment
being outright flouted, this was it, and as much as I hate to admit it, I take
a good deal of glee in thinking that for once, God did something about those
who use Him to prey on the gullible.
Still, the Solid Rock church is undaunted, and plans are underway to
build a new, better, not as idolatrous replacement.
In a USA Today story the day after the fire, it was
reported that the original statue cost $400,000; the new one is estimated at up
to $750,000. In what I consider a
shockingly arrogant move, the Solid Rock church feels it’s better to spend
almost three quarters of a million dollars on an idol that God EXPRESSLY
FORBIDS IN WRITING instead of, oh, I don’t know, using that same money to help the
needy people of the area, and by needy, I mean those who really NEED a
hand. If you’ve ever been to Dayton or Cincinnati,
you know there are plenty of them.
Anyone who reads my dreck knows my feelings on
Christianity. For those who don’t, I’ll
say it again: Beware the person who
claims to know the mind of God.
PS: I've heard Heywood Banks' song.
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