Wars, Tips and Dying Squirrels

I’m willing to bet that most people are happy to be home for the Thanksgiving holiday here in the United States, and I’m guessing that most countries have a similar day set aside for family feasting. Smart people everywhere know the value of friends and family, and most of us tolerate even the idiot relative we all have, if only for a day. You just never know what you’re going to hear at gatherings like that, and sometimes even the most mundane of conversations can evolve into a discussion that everybody wants to weigh in on. I had a few interesting conversations this holiday that I’d like to share with whoever reads this, so here they are in no particular order.

The War in Iraq: No matter how much you try to avoid this subject, it always pops up. Many people feel many ways about this issue, and I only wish a solution were as simple as some make it seem. I’m not sure how many points I scored with my argument (which, trust me, was pretty much forced out of me), but I present it here. You can say what you want about the Middle Eastern morass, but I urge all who vehemently oppose the war to consider this: Shiite Muslim extremists in Iraq have been targeting women for the crime of…being women. In the last couple years over 50 women have been murdered in the street for refusing to wear veils, and for wearing makeup. A prominent Iraqi television journalist (female) has had death threats as well as promises to be raped, beaten to death and thrown into the street with labels pinned to her body denouncing her as a whore. If you are an attractive woman with western tastes, you are a less than human. It doesn’t really matter if the big picture (the war) is seen as political or economical, what matters is that, left alone, Iraq could become as the Taliban controlled areas are in Afghanistan. Not our problem, perhaps, but would you feel the same if it were you or your sister or mother? One of the people I spoke to about this said “We are not the world’s police.” Fair enough, but are we not our brother’s keeper? If not us, meaning everybody else in the world, then who? If the people of the world ignore unjust behavior toward other human beings, we will have no business complaining when it happens to us, and if we leave it unchecked, we ensure that it will. Nobody should die for money or oil, but some things are worth fighting and dying for.

Fortunately, the conversation about the war with the armchair generals didn’t last very long, and we moved on down a very winding road that eventually led to the practice of tipping. I remember when tipping was reserved pretty much for waitresses, caddies and barbers. In today’s world, everyone expects a tip. Fast food places in Florida have tip jars on the counter prominently displayed near the cash register for maximum exposure to those easily guilted into giving up their money. I have a problem with that, and here’s why: A tip is a gratuity, and a gratuity is a gift. We give gifts to those whom we feel deserve them. For instance, a smiling, efficient waitress deserves a tip, as does an attentive bartender. The pizza kid who gets your order to you quickly should also get a little extra bump, as should a good caddy. In short, anyone who does above and beyond what is expected deserves a gratuity. To have a tip automatically added to a bill (say, for large parties at dinner) removes the impetus for the server to do their best. To call an automatic extra charge on my bill a “gratuity” insults me and demeans the word, because it’s not a gratuity. Let’s call it what it is: it’s a handout, like money you would give to a bum on the street. It’s something for nothing, a reward for no services rendered, a bonus for…nothing. Now, you waitresses don’t get me wrong: Unless I see gross negligence or a poor attitude, I always tip. I know there are tightwads out there who don’t tip, and for that I’m sorry, but if you work in the service industry, you (like everyone else who works) should be prepared to do your best and expect the worst. It’s hard to appreciate a good tip unless you know what it is to be stiffed.

Since I recently moved to Tampa, some of my holiday compatriots asked me what I thought of the city, and I said I liked it, save for the traffic woes. It can take upwards of 45 minutes to travel 15 miles, and I’m not wild about that at all. Many of the drivers behave as though they are the only people on the road, and drive with an utter lack of consideration for other vehicles. Their flagrant inconsideration makes me think that they simply don’t care if they cause an accident or hurt someone because of their disregard for anyone but themselves. I know this is a symptom of the human condition, so I was very surprised last night on my way home from work when I saw the oddest thing. There was a squirrel in the opposite lane from me that had been hit by a car, but wasn’t dead. It was flipping about, unable to move except to jerk spastically up and down. It looked like a puppet on a string, flailing but unable to move anywhere except up and right back down. Do you know what the odd thing about this was? Nobody wanted to hit it again. Cars approached and slowed, then veered to one side or another so as to avoid it. The everyday drivers who pull out in front of other vehicles, unmindful of the potential for a serious accident wouldn’t hit the squirrel again to stop it from suffering. They slowed to look, but did nothing. For the record, I was in another lane, so I couldn’t do it myself, but you can bet that if I had, someone would have seen me do it and thought me cruel or hollered obscenities at me, or worse. Amazing.

I see by my site meter that I’m getting hits from all over the world. Please feel free to comment on anything I’ve written in this blog, or just say hello from wherever you are. Thank you, and I’ll be posting again very soon. Ciao!