Advice 101

I read with interest an essay posted by a friend the other day that endeavored to offer advice to the younger generation. Her blog, “This Happy Breed”, is listed in my links to the right, and it’s worth a read. I am a bit of a curmudgeon. I’m not so sure that young people want to hear what we geezers have to say (especially when it comes to sex). I know I spent a good deal of time in my youth ignoring what I later found to be sage advice (and I thanked my lucky stars that no adults ever offered any type of sex advice. I was happy to blunder through that on my own). Why, then, do I feel the need to emulate my colleague and offer unsolicited advice to ears that are most likely deaf? I don’t know. The goal, I suppose, would be to save them from making the same mistakes I have made, but no lesson really hits home like the ones experienced. We can get ideas from reading of others’ misfortunes, but an idea is just that, whereas a rude and often painful awakening is a personal experience that leaves a mark not soon forgotten. And so, with a less than enthusiastic hope that my words will be read by those who need to hear them the most, much less taken to heart, I still want to humbly offer them.

ON RELATIONSHIPS: You have quirks and so does everyone else. The trick is to find someone whose quirks you can put up with while they simultaneously put up with yours. Don’t judge your mate by how he or she looks, but rather by how they react to you, and you to them. Mistrust, harsh words and ill will are the road signs to failure, no matter how beautiful the ride.

ON LEARNING: Strive to learn as much as you can about as many things as you can. Learn a little about a lot of things and you will be an interesting person. Keep in mind that the more you learn, the more you will realize how much you don’t know.

ON FOOD: Taste everything at least once. And by all means, taste with your mouth, not your eyes. If you don’t like it, then don’t eat it again. Never criticize another’s cooking, at least within earshot of the cook.

ON FEAR: Don’t be afraid of things you don’t understand. If you fear something, find out what makes it tick. Chances are you’ll find that it’s not that scary.

ON RELIGION: NEVER let someone else tell you that they know what God or any other deity thinks. This is very important. Beware the people who claim to know what gods want.

ON PEER PRESSURE: Much like the previous subject, don’t let others tell you what you can and can’t do. Keep your eyes open. If your friends are doing something that you KNOW is wrong and they want you to join, or it’s something that you don’t want to do, don’t do it. It really is that simple.

ON PETS: Don’t have one unless you are prepared to: Feed it. Clean up after it on a daily basis. Engage it so it has a meaningful life. Know that it’s going to die and leave a hole in you that will never fully close.

ON LIVING: Every day that you draw a breath is a good day. It beats the alternative.

ON JUDGING PEOPLE: This can be a toughie, and you should know that you’re going to make a mistake and trust someone you shouldn’t. However, keep in mind that people who are nice sometimes and sometimes not are not nice people. Never trust someone who’s nice to you but rude to others.

ON BEING A GOOD PERSON: This should be a no-brainer. The golden rule (or karma, if you like) applies. If you wouldn’t want it done to you, don’t do it to others.

There are, of course, many lessons to be learned in life, and my list is by no means comprehensive. However, if you are of a mind to take advice, check out this page (start with “life” as a topic) to hear what others say are keys to happiness, and what to watch out for. Many of them are clichés, but if they had no value, they wouldn’t be clichés, would they?

NOTE: Thanks, Angie for inspiring me to write this, although I still don’t think it will do any good. If I may quote Willa Cather: “The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young.” I just love that one!