Sports Aside

I am not what you would call a sports fan. No baseball, no football (American or otherwise), no racing (if that's really a sport), no jai alai. Because I'm old, I will confess to watching a bit of golf now and then, as long as there are no Star Trek reruns on. However, I do have one sports weakness: hockey. It came about quite by accident. I had come home from working in a factory at 3am, and plopped in front of the TV, as it was very cold outside, and I had a nice warm bottle of bourbon handy. A quick perusal of the channels showed nothing of interest, which, for the most part, is to be expected from television. Realizing I needed to remove my boots, I stopped clicking (completely randomly, mind you) on a hockey game. It could have been anything, an infomercial, the Jesus channel, or maybe Telemundo!, but it happened to be hockey.

Anyway, there was nothing on, and I was in no hurry to surf anymore, so I slurped my bourbon and tried to remember if there was anything constructive I could do. My attention was caught by the TV; the crowd was roaring, and I looked up to see what the fuss was about. It was a hockey game, and I don't like sports, but I had an epiphany at that moment. I watched men on ice skates chase a frozen piece of rubber around, and was completely awestruck by the speed and agility with which they moved. But, the most surprising thing of all was the amount of control they had over what was going on. Anyone who has ever walked or driven on ice knows that it's a tricky thing, but these guys had it down. So I watched to see what would happen. A goal was scored (beautifully), and the crowd cheered, which is what you would expect in a sporting event. But just a couple minutes later, it got even better. (Remember, as this transpired, I hadn't watched a televised sporting event in probably 25 years).

I thought I would watch for a few more minutes to see what happened. Play continued for a little longer, and then, the commentators started chattering excitedly about something going on that wasn't on camera. The picture cut to a different view of the arena, and there stood (circled) two opposing team members, gloves off and ready to duke it out. On ice skates. They grabbed and tried to pummel each other, somewhat effectively, for about a minute. The crowd roared, and when the referees separated them, they both skated off, a bit bloody and obviously winded. And I was hooked.

Before I get accused of being a Neanderthal, let me say this: I am repulsed by the thought of anybody dying in a war. If all wars were fought with fists on ice skates, well, there wouldn't be any body bags, and Purple Hearts would be awarded based on the number of stitches incurred instead of missing limbs. I would be more than happy to debate war stats to hockey ones; the "hockey is too violent" argument just doesn't work.

I, of course, have a favorite team, and even though I've left the frozen north, I still root for them when I can. I love hockey. Go Red Wings!